The idea of showing that what people usually say is not always what they mean
Please do not feel obligated to help, do not worry about me.
I’m alright spending some time alone. It’s not a big deal, I’ll be okay.
I feel good today. I am positive that I will stop at nothing.
I feel tired. I promise I won’t miss class; I will get up.
I explore Downtown when I feel bored. It’s so huge I get lost.
I told you before I need more space! I hate to repeat myself.
You were so patient; you tried so hard. Glad you could be here.
No need to argue. One can have different opinions and others should understand(s).
Jump
A soliloquy of a non depressed guy with depressed thoughts
It makes me feel so dizzy just the thought of standing near the yellow line…
Today was such a mess, I have no energies. Well that’s not the way you started. I mean it’s not my problem, right? Great, now you wanna blame yourself? It’s the others, not you. But it’s me who feels this way. I am the only responsible. I should have never felt the way I do for him.
Great, I just missed it…
I should have spoken up about it after work. I hate when I keep everything to myself. That’s because you are afraid to be left alone. Aren’t you tired to be so miserable? Well I just care about what others think. Even when they tell you are wrong? I am not! That’s not what they say. He didn’t mean it.
I know he doesn’t but he said it.
Let me answer to mom, she must be worried…
Just the way he looks at him. It could have been you. But it is not, it’s a sign.
Of your failure? It is his fault. I hate him! I still believe you should have left him. But I can’t… he saved me. How can someone be so blind. I don’t care about what you think. No one cares about you. Don’t you get it?
Your life is pathetic.
Perfect, only two minutes left…
I should stop. Fine! Be a coward and run away. Like it would make a difference. It’s just today. I will be fine. No!
It will be the same over and over. You will wake up and see your insignificant reflection in the mirror and how meaningless your life is.
You will pretend everything is fine and smile at everyone. And you will lie.
That’s what you are. I should let it go…
You can’t! Because as much as you care, you don’t care enough about us! That’s right. After all, you are not good enough.
You are late and that’s why we are alone!
Do it. What will you lose!?!
Jump…
Jump…
Jump…
JUMP!!!
HEY YOU! Don’t you see you are at the edge of the platform?! Get away from there!
As I said, I am good enough.
Third Space
What does it feel like?
They ask
Now that you are away
from home.
Now that you’re a man on
your own.
Is the winter bad, son?
Do bundle up.
Are you living healthy?
Eat some fruit.
Do you still pray each day?
Don’t forget to.
New questions chase the old.
What does it feel like?
I ask
In this new place away
from home.
Where I am but a person
all alone.
I do mind the cold, mother
in my throat.
And don’t at all understand
half their food.
I fight to hold on to Faith as I
look for God.
Here where all is different and
failing that, confusingly the same.
I wonder as I wander
Ębi mi, how even when
the cold is gone
something new is lodged
in my throat.
It moved in when I moved out
and it swells with pride
when you do not call.
-´Molade ‘Molara
